Friday, July 26, 2013

Assholes do Exist!

Picture this, a stunning day in Scotland, shockingly the sun is shining (yay alliteration), out for a brutal legs are burning, anaerobic run.  When suddenly out of nowhere a foot is in your path, just in time for your neon runners to snag it and cause you fly forward at over 9mph.

Now anyone who is not a total asshole in polite society would assume that the foot was placed there by mistake, not intentionally for the sole purpose of tripping a suffering runner.

You would be wrong.

9 miles, 2*3 miles in zone 3 & 4.  I'm at mile 8.5, HR is well into zone 4 I was feeling it.  I'm headed towards home, a half mile from the finish, and there are two men coming at me.  Note men, not some young punks, guys in their mid 30's.  When I moved to one side to go past them they look at each other and move to the same side laughing, I go the other way they move again into my path.  Then as I come closer they split down the middle, now the road is so tiny here I would be clipped by a car if I went off the side walk.

So I guess I have to go through these douche bags.  Heres the shocker the guy on my right, stops, and sticks his freaking foot out!  Now I'm moving at this point, and I cant slow down to avoid it.  I think his plan was to jokingly put his foot out and pull it back (because I can not wrap my head around someone purposely tripping me).  Well his slow fat ass was too slow if thats what he meant to do because I connected, didn't have time to slow down or avoid it.

Now I'm not the most coordinated person ever, and I have a tendency to hurt myself by tripping over my own damned feet (on perfectly flat surfaces with no obstacles), I don't need this jerk off's help.

By some miracle I was able to stay upright and do a drunken stumble like move and ended up still on my feet.  And of course in true runner style, apparently I hit my lap button on my Garmin as I stumbled.

I saw RED.

I've never wanted to hit anyone so bad in my life.  Common sense unfortunately came into play, since there were two of them I barely restrained myself.

Instead I walked up to this guy, who was laughing, got within an inch of his face and started screaming at him.  He stopped laughing quickly, I don't think he expected a little neon clad runner to get right in his face.  He tried to walk away just staring at the ground not saying a word, so I walked backwards still less than a foot away from his face, yelling at him, asking if it made him feel like a big man to knock a women to the ground.  According to my Garmin split it was just under 3 minutes of yelling (I don't think that is what Garmin had in mind to record).

Now I'm a pretty chill person, it takes a lot to get me to yell or get worked up.  I have never in my life spoken to someone the way I yelled at this man, I was so angry.  I couldn't imagine what was going through his head when he decided to stick his foot out.

After that incident I felt like I could break the mile record I was so fuelled by adrenaline.  Instead ran a few extra miles to cool down and get a clear head before I head home.

Now that I look back on it, I feel sorry for the guy.  That he is such a pathetic loser that this is how he gets his kicks.  Maybe he should start running to blow off some of that steam :p  I don't think he will trip up any more runners though.

Even worse...he scuffed my brand new neon Newtons.  Not cool.

Stay safe out there.

Carpe Diem


  1. I think you could have taken both of them. Sorry this happened to you, but in the end it does make for a good read.

  2. People can be real jerks. You took the high road by not taking them out even though it sounds like you would have had no problem in doing so!

  3. Thanks guys, yea I couldn't believe that someone would pull shit like that, but now I just feel sorry for that guy, what a loser.